You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
