He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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