i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
