My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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