The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So squirting runs in the family.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
