No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
