He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize