i just wanna soil my oats bro
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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