week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
