Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
