dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
