the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
