Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
