I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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