who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
