Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
