after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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