Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
