handjob tips. give me some.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
