Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
