i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
