wanna go halves on a baby?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize