i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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