There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
