Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
