I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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