did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
