a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
