she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
