I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
