You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
