So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
