she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
