you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
