just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His hands were made for my vagina.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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