its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
