I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
