Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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