And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
