If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
