you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
