So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
