what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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