I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
