I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
