So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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