Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
