I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
