guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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