One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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