I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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