butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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