He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
