What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
