You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
