we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
