I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
