I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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