Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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