hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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