How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
