You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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