The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
