you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
