Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
