...so i touched it.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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