this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
foreskin is a definite game changer
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
