You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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