Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
