i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
