break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
he just fucked me for my cheese.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize