Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
