doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
