i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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