I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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