It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize