Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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