if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
