you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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