i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just pee around me
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
