with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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