We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
