Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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